12th House

Neptune gets a lot of bad press in astrology because of its tendency to blur borders. Neptune keywords are addiction, disillusionment, and mysticism. Now…mysticism is the vibe you want with Neptune. A relationship with challenging Neptune aspects doesn’t require you to lose yourself in an illusion you have about someone else. However, once you get on the crazy train of a Neptunian relationship, it becomes hard to keep your borders as the Neptunian aspects will always fight to blur them.

So, how do you manage Neptune in relationships? I’m asking myself this question since I just got out of one soul-challenging Neptunian relationship and another popped right up when Uranus moved direct in my 7th house Aries. All the synchronicities were staggering and it felt like time collapsing. I pulled up his chart and saw the karmic story pop out at me. It freaked me out a little bit – like the Universe was dropping a lesson plan on my lap. I saw the energy in our connection is about him becoming a father as his North Node in Capricorn is being activated by transits and he’s being pulled that way without me. I just add gravity to the pull when my charts put next to his. He already has a son, and now comes the great cosmic push to domesticate him. We have so many lovely aspects in our synastry. So many synchronicities in our lives. I have a daughter of my own. He has his son. We can help each other. We’re both creative. Just two steps away from the perfect domesticity created our way. If only we were closer, but that’s what he needs – his chart says so. Nice, eh?

But I’ve been here before. This time I see it coming. The new guy lives several hundred miles away. We’ve chatted online. And I get the sense that his photos don’t show who he is because I also feel him energetically. So I googled him and found his mug shot online. Yes, mug shot. And I laughed out loud for about 10 minutes thinking here is my new Mr. Neptune, appropriately arrested for a DUI several months ago, several states away.
I’m not judging him. It’s just so Neptunian. And in truth, I know he’s nothing like the last guy. He isn’t. The pain of being open hearted is in staying that way. I can’t let the past shut me down. Here’s a new situation, but its alarming because the Neptune signature is all over the place – the long distance, the sense of disillusionment already (his Neptune squares my Venus. My natal Venus is square Neptune, so I suspect I have a better sense of what the challenges are all about.)

Whenever there is a heavy aspect in a Neptunian relationship, it’s important to realize that there is a third player involved – the great collective, the dissolution of borders into Universal oneness. Now there is so much romance built up around “oneness” being a couple that it’s easy to put the need for Universal oneness on to the relationship. That’s what I focused on last time. And it left no room in the relationship for me.
So this time I intend to tell him what his karmic path is. To tell him there is a great cosmic push to domesticate him. To tell him to run as far and as fast in the other direction if that isn’t something he’s ready to face. And to understand, that the great push to domesticate him doesn’t come from me. There’s always going to be a third in this relationship – Neptune. I won’t take blame (or credit) for cosmic design. It comes from the Universe, who wants him to know he’s safe and loved here simply because he exists. I need him to understand that as *his* karmic path. Because once I have my karma goggles on, I don’t care what someone says, whines about, opines about – I see it and its priority number one. I watched the last guy go to the abyss and throw his soul away. I don’t want to watch that again.

Perhaps if from the start strong borders are established, there is a chance to enjoy the relationship and the mysticism. But mysticism isn’t a relationship. Mysticism is an experience of boundlessness, not an experience of another. Certainly, relationships inspire mystical experience, but every relationship requires work and compromise.

So, until and unless Mr. Neptune comes to town, he’s just a guy out of state. And if he is in town, I’m going to review our charts with him so he can see – before we get on the Neptunian crazy train – where it’s going and how to use other elements of the chart to aim for the North Node.

So, we’ll see. Maybe he’ll run away. But either way, I am a mystic now, with or without that relationship.